A serious talk
by Kitty-Guardian Dorothy
Summary: On a rooftop, four ninja's are dramatically watching over their city of New York and have a serious conversation. Warning for those who have already read this and are angry for there being no warning before reading: Yeah, I went there.


**I do not own ninja turtles; Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman do.**

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><p>Four turtle's brothers were on the edge of a roof, overlooking the city of New York seriously.<p>

Leonardo was the leader and the oldest, he sported a blue mask and a pair of katana crossed on the back of his shell. He was standing on the corner of the roof, he stood tall and proud, her eyes stuck in place of the horizon between the sky and the city lights.

Donatello was the resident genius and second-oldest, he sported a purple mask and a Bo staff which was strapped on the back of his shell by his belt. His stood next to Leonardo, with arms crossed, his head cocked slightly to the side as he stared quizzically at the city, his eyes wondering as he studied it.

Raphael was the hothead and second-youngest, he sported a red mask and a pair of sai that hung on the front of his belt. He was crouching next to Donatello, his mouth twisted slightly into a sneer as he glared at the city.

Finally, there was Michaelangelo the jokester and the youngest. He sported an orange mask and twin nunchaku strapped behind his belt in the front. He had a half-dangerous grin as he stared down the roof to the ground several stories beneath them.

Donatello spoke "So…. We're all in agreement?" He asked seriously.

"Indeed." They chorused, equally as serious.

"If we were human; Leo would be Asian." Raphael said.

"Donnie would be half-Asian, half-British." Michaelangelo added.

"Raph would be black." Donatello said.

"And Mikey would be white-trash." Leonardo finished.

"….When did I agree to be _white-trash_?"

"It doesn't matter if you agree to it or not; it's true."

"I hate you all."

"Take your emo-ness somewhere else, white-trash."

"Oh, I'm the emo one? Dude, you're the brooding loner here."

"Ah, classic; white trash versus black. Please don't break out into a Yo-mama fight or rap battle please."

"Don't temp us."

"I'd school him anyways."

"You wanna go, white trash?"

"Shell yeah, ni-!"

"Mikey no! We are not allowed to say that word!"

"That's a human thing, why should it matter to us?"

"For one thing, it's _really _racist."

"Does it really matter? You ever _hear _the expression 'turtlehead'? I think we're allowed to be a little bit racist."

"Never thought you would support racism, Leo."

"I'm not; there just jokes, so lighten up."

"Oh, so the Almighty and powerful Leonardo can actually lighten up?"

"Don't start with me, Raph."

"Nyeh, shuddup ya damn Asian; you wanna know your motto? 'If it had four legs and a tail, it is delicious'."

"Ph, yeah; and if we were a jacket, you would be the hood."

"Lame."

"Yeah, sorry Leo that was kind of lame."

"Okay, so the black pun didn't work; so lets go with a black joke. So, this black guy walks up to a parrot and says 'Polly wanna cracker?' And the parrot look at him and says 'black guy want a watermelon?'."

"Heh heh heh! That's pretty good for an Asian guy."

"Shouldn't you be O.D somewhere, Mikey?"

"Ooooh, the white trash was just burned."

"Shouldn't you be having tea with the queen or something?"

"Come on Mike, you could have burned Don betta' den dat."

"Give me a break, I'm a little out of it."

"A little or always?"

"Oh ha ha; look who's the funny turtle."

"We should go before someone hears us and calls the police."

"And report us for what, racial slurs?"

"They _are _Americans."

"…. Good point, let's get outta here."

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><p><em>I'm am so sorry - hahaha, no I'm not - but it had to be done. I wanted to do this for such a long time and I've had the idea stuck in my head forever.<em>

_Take in mind that this is comedy and I'm not being racist, just joking around. And come ON, I'm fourteen years old, I go to school with several teenage boys and a lot of them do racist jokes; hell, you know how many Asain jokes people (namely my dad though) have told me? Than again, a lot of the jokes I hear at school are mostly mexican. So it should make sense the **teenage **mutant ninja turtles would tell racist jokes every now and then._

_SO, I fully think that that's what the guys would be if they were human, all hands down. Leo would be Asain because we all know that pretty much every Asain person is proficient in Martial arts, Donnie would be an Asain/British cross because they are so smart, and Raph would be black because... To be honest, I have no idea why I think he'd be black, and Mikey would probably be just plain American or Hawaiian, but his brothers would think he'd be white trash._


End file.
